Bingham

Okay so my wife started this. 5 things about me you may not know that I’d never readily confess to…

1. An early start to my career

I cared little for school work in my early school years. Life was consumed by sport and my little ZX Spectrum. Playing a lot of sport helped hide my fetish for that little rubber keyboard. While I did play games on it, it was the programming world that totally absorbed me. I would spend entire weekends, through the nights, typing out long machine code listings from computer magazines. I also wrote many utilities and games (and also published a couple). The world of machine code and assembler was the biggest thrill (needed for a 3.5Mhz z80 speed demon). I was about 10 when I coded/hacked my first 3D vector based program in assembler- inspired by seeing 3D Battlezone in the arcades. It was horribly slow (no fills, and you could see the shape being slowly drawn). At the time I was battling with multiplication tables in schools… LOL.

So here’s the real confession of this part. I can’t code (anymore). Even formula language leaves me sweating. I can hack most any html and can hack Java but I’d be terrified if any nose bleed type hardcore coder looked at the source. In this profession its really frustrating not being able to code…. So I married Adeleida.

2. The walking wounded

I’m incredibly unsupple. I can’t sit cross legged - I fall backwards. I did some Karate many years ago - I found the only way to get my leg up onto the wooden beam to stretch was…. well actually I couldn’t find a way. Couldn’t even get my leg half way up. I have to stretch all the time. I get muscle stiffness all the time - especially my calves. I’d be the guy at the conference standing up stretching his calves (which was the cause of a ruptured achilles tendon) and rolling a coke can under his foot (treatment for plantar fasciitis). My body is an encyclopaedia of injuries. The reason for this (coupled with zero suppleness) is my over exuberance in sport. I love sport and whether it be soccer, squash, tennis, windsurfing or rugby, I totally commit and often over commit my body. I have bone contortions, scar tissue and swellings everywhere, and my body crackles, clicks, snaps and pops at every move I make - in ways that would make most faint. My jaw clicks and snaps (badly), my knees click, my ankles and fingers snap and my shoulders creak. I’m dreading the potential arthritic problems…

3. I’m a natural blue
I have a bad memory. If I were made to say the word say… ’stump’ all day for 3 days in a row, write it on a blackboard Bart style, and then afterwards if you asked me what the word was, it’s quite possible I’d be completely..er… well I might not remember the word. My memory is completely erratic too. That 30 second game is the game I hate most - put my memory under pressure and I’ll forget my own name. People know this and love to watch me self-destruct during the course of the game. There are memory exercises I could follow and I guess I should. A bad memory has great perks though… Watching great movies over and over again - I think I’ve watched Silence of the Lambs about 5 times, and each time the ending was a surprise - in fact I think I’ll watch it again

4. Boy in 80’s bubble
I love retro - specifically 80’s retro. I’m a huge Depeche Mode fan, and recently just watched season one of Magnum PI. I bought the Thunderbirds (the string puppets and big vehicles) DVD collection as well as the entire Robotech collection. I was appalled recently to see some American movie comedy make a joke about a guy in a car singing to Duran’s Duran’s ‘The Reflex’. What’s wrong with that?!! I also use up considerable time loading my arcade cabinet with all 80’s consoles, computer and arcade games (ZX Spectrum,Atari, Nintendo, Sega, PC, Playstation etc). It drives my wife nuts but I keep reminding her I could be out drinking… My retro fetish only goes so far though… that 80’s look was awful - big hair, thin tie etc…rewatching MacGyver (the hair!!!) and Knight Rider (the glasses and pants) gave me the heebie jeebies… Ouch!

5. On going bald

I’m going bald. Have been for a long time. I don’t like it. You meet someone you haven’t seen for some time (meaning anything more than 2 weeks) - especially friends parents and family, and their first observation is ‘gosh you’re going bald!’.
So here is the confession. I went to one of those hair clinics - cost me a fortune. For 6 months a woman would rub substances on my head while a laser would fry my brain (specifically the memory compartment - even though it’s small). I was promised amazing results. I used to upset the people there because I’d get leg cramp sitting there (you must remain ABSOLUTELY still) and the grazes from soccer on my head (don’t ask) worried the ’stylist’.

The laser treatment is supposed to be an accelerant for the substances that are applied to the scalp. The treatment benefits continue if you continue to pay for the ointments (along with free Scientology subscriptions). I don’t have the money for this although I did initially buy the treatment. It’s been several years and I still have ointment left (I kept forgetting to take it). I think in the end I grew an extra hair follicle or two and lost another 10,000.
My wife now cuts my hair - she gives me a #2 cut. Low maintenance, neat and screams - ‘yes it’s all going you insipid moron now let’s discuss that cellulite problem of yours shall we… Has it progressed?’. No actually I’m at peace with it… but keep the baldy jokes at a minimum.

Anyway - enough of that.. I guess like many IT people I’m kinda quirky… It’s a good thing it’s only 5 secrets…I could go on…